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Why Are Brazilian Women So Hot?
Posted on April 16th, 2009 13 commentsWhy Are Brazilian Women So Hot?
It’s common knowledge among men the world over, that Brazilian women rank among the hottest on the planet.
But the REAL question is WHY?
How To Make A Country Full Of Hot Babes In Only Two Centuries: A Short History of Hotness in Brazil
Brazil’s history is just as exciting as it’s current affairs, filled with ups, downs, and conflicts that could compete with any box office action thriller.The Portuguese were the first European settlers to arrive in the area, led by adventurous Pedro Cabral, who began the colonial period in 1500. Little did Pedro know he was planting the seeds of future hotness that would become the famous the world over.
Unlike the colonizing philosophy of the Spanish, the Portuguese in Brazil were much less focused at first on conquering, controlling, and developing the country. Most were impoverished sailors, who were far more interested in profitable trade and subsistence agriculture than in territorial expansion.
Nonetheless, sugar soon came to Brazil, and with it came imported slaves. To a degree unequaled in most of the American colonies, the Portuguese settlers frequently intermarried with both the Indians and the African slaves, and there were also mixed marriages between the Africans and Indians. This interracial mixing of three very distinct genetic pools, would no doubt have an impact on the future hotness of Brazilian women.
As a result, Brazil’s population is a population of mixed babies, who through some miracle have managed to discover the perfect cocktail of the best genes available to man.
Most Brazilians possess some combination of European, African, Amerindian, Asian, and Middle Eastern lineage, and this multiplicity of cultural legacies is a notable feature of current Brazilian culture, and an EXTRA notable feature of the sexy bunda packin babes you’ll see all over Brazil…
These are facts.
Let’s get back to our history lesson… Portugal so treasured the colony of Brazil that they actually sent its people gold bullion to protect its integrity — quite an unusual action. It’s almost as if Portugal knew Brazil had something special in it, something that made it a South American treasure worth protecting and keeping pure.
In other words, they must have known the place was more or less dripping with smoking hot babes. There’s no other explanation. The Portuguese made some half-assed attempts to colonize parts of America, Canada and other South American areas, but Brazil was their baby — their hot, bikini-clad, long legged baby whom they would cut off several fingers to have sex with.
Brazil’s #1 Export:
Supermodels.
I realize, of course, that this article seeks to explain why Brazilian women are so hot, but — as many philosophers and Douglas Adams have stated — often the only reasonable answer to “why” is “why not?” There are so goddamned many gorgeous Brazilian women that it just seems to be a stone-set fact of life that Brazil manufactures beautiful women as a matter of course. For Chrissakes, one country produced all the following women:
Alessandra Ambrosio
Adriana Lima
Isabeli Fontana
Izabel Goulart
Ana Beatriz Barros
Gisele Bundchen
and Juliana Martins
A Booming Economy
Brazil has the highest GDP in all of Latin America, with significant agricultural and manufacturing sectors and an enormous labor pool. It makes some sense, perhaps, that with their economy going so well, Brazilian citizens are generally less panicked and take the time to care for themselves. It’s easier to eat right, exercise and use skin care products when your country isn’t quadrillions of dollars in debt — lord knows we are, and our hottest chick from a decade ago now looks like this:
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Weapons of Mass Seduction
Come to think of it, there’s something rather sinister about how many hotties come from Brazil. The surplus hotness Brazil exports on a daily basis could feed the homeless for a decade, if spent properly. It’s almost as if Brazil is trying to corner the global market on attractive women — as if they want a monopoly on sexy.I am of the opinion that Brazil actually wishes to wage war on the civilized countries of the world by flaunting their women in our faces — their supermodels act as the greatest combination defense and offense in the history of warfare.
Sure, the US could nuke them into oblivion with our massive super weapon stockpile, but we’d literally be killing the most beautiful women on the planet. Similarly, we might have a more stable government with (arguably) more personal freedoms, but hell; Brazil’s got the hottest women! On paper, our lives may be slightly better, but the Brazilian life is more WORTH living simply because the sex is BETTER, and more plentiful. Brazil knows that, outside of disturbing eugenic experiments, there’s no real way for the rest of the world to combat their legions of hotties.
Brazilians fight their wars not with bombs, but with bundas, bikinis, and bosoms. And they are DEFINITELY winning.
The Brazilian Wax & The Brazilian Thong
Is it any wonder that the two most famous things to come out of Brazil are the “Brazilian Wax” and the “Brazilian Thong”. Need I say more? Their minds must be on sex all the time, which leads to vaginal waxing, and hot babes prancing around the beach in skimpy thongs, which leads to better sex with better looking women, which leads to better looking kids, which leads to more and more sex… I know what you’re thinking… It’s a VICIOUS cycle I know we all WISH we could be a part of.
God bless Brazil,
Brazil, Brazil Girls, Brazilian Women, Foreign Women, Latin America, Latin Women, South America, Travel Brazil, Brazil Girls, Brazilian Women, Foreign Women, International Dating, Latin America, Latinas, Rio, South America13 responses to “Why Are Brazilian Women So Hot?”
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What B.S.! Brazilian women are not worse or better than anywhere else in the world (perhaps except US where 99% of women are fat cows, so let me exclude this one country). There is still a decent proportion of fat mamas down in brazil, trust me.
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Your analysis of the Portuguese “colonizing philosophy” is erroneous. The Portuguese had no where to expand as they signed the Treaty of Tordesilhas/Tordesillas en 1494, which gave Portugal lands that lay 370 leagues to the west of Cape Verde Islands. Any land beyond that point was property of Spain. Thus, Portugal was given the easternmost lands (Brazil) and Spain the western lands (the rest).
Spain was interested in the same types of trade as Portugal and purchased slave labor from the Portuguese to work the sugar plantations in its Caribbean holdings. Your description of the social, historic, and economic factors that contributed to the creation of hot Brazilian women took place in most of Latin America (especially along the coast). Does this mean we should put all Latin American women on the same hotness level as the Brasileiras?
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Mario CG December 18th, 2009 at 10:28
You told it! I am a 39, Mexican single who has travelled all over the world due to my job as a business consultant. Believe me, if you think you know something about women you have to travel to three places to know the real deal, and those places are: Russia, Cuba and Brazil. As for Brazilian girls, it’s not only their astonishing bodies barely covered by those tiny thongs, it’s about the eroticism that surrounds them any moment and the fairness to relate with men.
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ana gabriela December 26th, 2009 at 19:10
I’m brazilian and there is not all like this, trust me.
of course that there is lots of pretty girls here, with a hot body, but sometimes people think that here we just drink some bear, kiss, and go to the beach.
Brazil is a beautiful place, and is cool to live here I think that here is so much easy! but i would like to live in US.
i’m just 14 years old but I think that people need to know before talk about a subject.
Bye
Tchau -
Julian January 15th, 2010 at 02:43
Married 3x (Usa, Ukraine, \’Brazil) age 50 snowboarder. Will not list all countries sampled … in any case, my current wife surpasses all expectations in affection and non-stop prowess in the sack. Also, extremely loyal and hardworking. Brazil rules, in my case, but be prepared to be \"dominado, tudu dominado!\"
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Ya I’d like to know where these girls are in Brazil because I was just there last year and I DID NOT SEE A SINGLE HOT WOMAN THERE! And was there during Carnaval. People need to get the facts straight.
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miguel January 31st, 2010 at 13:02
Bob L,
Actually the analysis is quite true. The Spanish crushed the Aztecs and
tried to conquer all of it. Portugal (not only in Brazil but all over Africa and even Asia), sought trade relations and controlled only coastal cities and ports. Particularly in Brazil, they mixed quite well with the natives after a certain adaptation period and they were by large less violent and more open than the Spanish (let alone the English).About the Tordesillas treaty, it is true although the borders of Brazil actually pass that frontier by large and Portuguese sailors established for some time in Labrador and other parts of North America.
Anyway, looking at other parts of the globe, the Portuguese colonization (though obviously not perfect from our XX century standards) was definitely the less violent and more mixing of all.
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The article is based on some facts but it’s also a tongue in cheek explanation for the hotness of Brazilian women. You’re right though… there are many attractive women, no matter what Latin country you visit. However some countries outshine others. I’d say the top Latin American countries to find attractive women are Argentina, Colombia, Venezuela, Brazil, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and Cuba.
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I am Brazilian and lived in the usa for 8 years,but i am now in Brazil and i am not going to say you it’s not ture that brazilian women are beautiful, but there are lots are women that are not, But brazilian women take alot care of themself another reanson they look really good, but brazilian are not only beautiful but hardworking,fun, and super nice. Brazilian people men and women are the sweetest people on the earth
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bemore February 15th, 2010 at 20:43
1. Colonial History (Other countries with similar histories also have hotties Cuba, Colombia, Venezuela ) & Euro invasion of Southern Brazil created hot blondes with great bodies.
2. Hot white AND black girls
3. Brazilian culture is really laid back, open, and free of Puritanism. Friday is ‘Sextafeira’. C’mon!
4. Strong gender roles for females (all Latin America really) is attractive for men sick of American feminazis.
5. Russia, any country in Scandinavia, mixed girls, and Argentina are runner ups.
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you pointed out that brazil is only usefull cause of its hottest women………….damn you!
there’s a lot more than that in that country.
you wont see another country with such adorable and sweet people.you wont see such high hygiene proceedings in its markets,places in food selling businnes,not to mention non-smoking rooms in restaurants and it’s very well mooded atendents.you won’t see such respect anywhere else.Brazil is the most succesfull country in developing countermeasures against diseases of all kind.Almost 100% of kids and teenagers in school.Owners of the most modern bank sistem in the world.the most enterpreneurial country in the world,too.and 70% of its people,rich or poor,dedicating a considerable part of their time in voluntary jobs.They do their best to understand and please foreigners of anywhere.They laugh and make joke at their own disgrace,facing the problems dancing (samba).Not meaning that they’re not a serious folk.Brazil has the third greatest democracy in the planet.The congress punishes its own members against corruption,what rarely occurs in another civilized countries.Brazil represents 40% of latin america market;the second greatest market of executive jets and helicopters.The only country in south hemisphere participating in Genoma project.All of this even after Portugal had taken a great amount of wealth from them centuries ago.
If the whole world people were like their people,we wouldn’t know what war is like. -
I’m brasilian also, and i can tell you this much.. ya mostly brasilian girls are pretty and hot and sweet etc.. brasilian girls have something you can call “glow” thats what makes us special and different than any other women of dif nationality.. you wanna know where this glow come from?
well for one, like everyone already comment, we are very well mixed and we take care of ourselves. but if you dont know this yet now you know, Brasil is a very very blessed country, its the closest, and at the same time furtherst from paradize as you can get.
God is brasilian, and he made sure his angels look very sparkly =) -
Hot Girl May 13th, 2010 at 01:32
Because they are sexy and beautiful..also because of their tan skin.
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Brazilian Man October 31st, 2009 at 15:05