Tip #2: Food – The way to a Latina’s heart

One of the best conversational tools you can use with Latin women is: Food. Every culture is defined in part by it’s food. And Latin America is no different. Although the dishes and foods throughout Latin America have many similarities, each country and even each region within a country has it’s own specialties and even different names for what may be the same dishes. There’s a million things you can ask about the food from her country and region.

A conversation on food can lead to many places. Does she know how to cook? If she does, she might have to cook for you sometime. What’s her favorite dish from her country? Does she know any places that have good typical dishes from her country/region? Suggest a nice dinner at the places she mentions.

I know dinner dates have lost their glitter in the eyes of many. But dinner doesn’t always have to be in a restaurant. You can ask her to come over, go shopping together for all the ingredients, and help her make a typical dish from her country. Add a bottle of wine (or some other alcoholic beverage) and some music and it not only makes for a small little adventure into the super market and the kitchen, it makes for a great date.

There’s just something about eating together that creates intimacy. That intimacy gets even stronger when you’re both making the bread you’re going to break. If you think about it, most major world religions have some sort of a traditional ritual feast. Breaking bread together just brings people closer to each other.

I’m sure you’ve heard that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Latin women take this very seriously, but now you can use her stomach as a way to build rapport, setup great dates, and add some interesting topics into the conversation.

There are numerous reasons why it’s going to take a long time for you to hit your stride in foreign countries. Some of these include:

• How well you know the language
• How fast you find the best night spots or if you know where they are
• How fast you find the best day spots or if you know where they are
• How fast you get use to the culture
• Overcoming stereotypes of you as a foreigner

These main barriers are the usual road blocks abroad. The most important one being language. But all of this doesn’t mean that dating environments abroad can’t be better then your local dating environment. Sometimes it just takes time to hit your stride.

Although language can be barrier, as long as you obtain some conversational fluency, it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

What you need to do is focus on the obstacles and overcoming them…

Overcoming stereotypes:
One of the main stereotypes you’ll encounter abroad, especially in Latin America is the fact that people will think you’re a rich American who’s only there to bang prostitutes. I’ve seen this all over Latin America. A lot of these stigmas come from past Americans and past foreigners who have come to Latin American countries for just that. These guys have given the rest of the “gringos” a bad name, but it is something that will change with time. The only way to get by this stereotype is to stay away from the “prepagos” or working girls, and in some cases from the places where these women frequent.

Overcoming style differences:
If you have an eccentric style like that of a rocker in the U.S.A you might have a tough time fitting in unless you find your perfect niche inside the city you’re visiting. American rock isn’t that popular throughout most of Latin America. In some cities the music might be popular but the style is pretty much non existent. The same can be said for a hip-hop type of style with fitted caps etc. You might find certain venues that cater to the music in certain large Latin America cities but in general these styles won’t help in Latin America. In these cases I would suggest you try to fit in more by changing your style a bit, to something you feel more comfortable with, but something that is more common throughout Latin America.

Finding The Best Night Spots:
In large cities the size of Buenos Aires or Bogota or even Medellin sometimes it’s taken me up to one month to find the really good night spots. I’m talking about the spots where you might be the only foreigner in the place and places that are loaded with single women. Also, these same places might be the best places to approach women who don’t speak any English.

It takes a lot of trial and error, asking around, checking different places out on different nights. In the first week you’ll find the most well know, places. Usually people will point you the priciest most well known place in the city, for example if you’re in Medellin and get in a taxi or ask anyone, they’ll tell you to go to Mangos or El Poblado, but I’ve found they’re not the best place to meet single women in Medellin.

If you’re lucky you’ll find the best places on the first week, but I usually don’t expect to find them until week 3 or 4, sometimes longer. And you’ll only find these places by being persistent and going out often.

Latin American is a very large region with a population almost double that of the United States. However, most of the countries in Latina America share one thing in common: a very pronounced class division based on economic prosperity. Certain countries like Costa Rica and Chile have less income and wealth inequality, therefore their class division isn’t as pronounced, but practically every other country in Latin America has these pronounced social borders that separate the different economic classes.

Much of this class division stems from the fact that Latin America is the most unequal region in the world in terms of income distribution. Although the level of poverty, violence, and underdevelopment is no where near many of the African countries the reasons why Latin America is the most unequal region is because very few people hold untold amounts of wealth, while the rest of the population gets by on very little. This doesn’t mean that most of the people in Latin America are starving, but it does mean that many people struggle economically, meanwhile the wealthy live like kings and take vacations to Europe, and North America like it’s nothing.

Most of the inequality in Latin America is not due a lack of talent, or willingness to work of the general public. The lack of progress in equalizing the wealth in these countries is due mostly in part to due to a continuing cycle of inequality, where corrupt governments promise change, only to rob and steal from the people and allying themselves with a few powerful interests and looting the countries coffers for themselves.

When you interact with a foreigner or a foreign girl, her outlook on life and her attitude will depend largely on which social class she belongs in her country.

Upper Class:
These are the minority and the wealthiest people in any country. The upper class throughout Latin America is very small but they’re also very very wealthy. Upper class people enjoy perks, and lifestyles that 95% of their countrymen don’t.

When it comes to meeting and dating an upper class Latin American girl, it may be much like dating an American woman. In many cases it’s because these women have had lavish lifestyles, and maybe even spent time abroad, for example getting an education at an American university. Overall I’ve noticed the most Americanized social class is the upper class, and for this reason when I’m in Latin America it’s just not my thing. Having said all this, if upper class women are your thing, I’m sure you’ll be able to find some humble, down earth, upper class Latin woman, if you look hard enough, but I wouldn’t overlook the middle, and upper middle class women.

Middle Class:
The middle class is larger then the upper class and can range anywhere from 10% to 30% of the population but is still very small compared to the middle class of other regions of the world, particularly the United States. Middle class people are generally more humble then their upper class counterparts. These are generally the people who vacation locally or to countries near by, they may have a family car and live in a decent home, and study at the 2nd tier universities. In general I find middle class women the best choices for dating abroad.

Lower Class:
The lower class population is usually the largest segment in most Latin American countries. In general this segment of the population lives in the more dangerous sections of town. Although they aren’t starving, they get by on very little. Usually it’s tough to get an college education because of the need to help the family out and work even starting at a young age, and because of the lack of money for an education.

The problem you’ll have with these women is the fact that they live in dangerous neighborhoods and the fact the most important thing for them may be economic stability. However, if you know how to navigate these waters, you’ll be able to weed out the the women who are only gold digging. Other then that, these women are easy to please material wise, they’re humble, and hard working.

My Strategy:
I generally like to meet and date women from the range of “lower-upper class” all the way through the “upper-lower class” (if that makes sense). If we broke up the social classes into 6 divisions, 1 being the lowest and six being the highest (wealthiest), like they do in Colombia, I would probably say I aim to stay in the range from 2 through 5.

A large chunk of my first book, The Global Dating Revolution, revolves around explaining the differences between different dating environments around the world. The truth is dating environments in various regions around the world differ for many reasons. Some reasons are economic, some are cultural, some are demographic, I get in the nitty gritty of all of this in my book. I call these negative environmental differences (from a man’s point of view), handicaps or sometimes “whammies.” If you can think of a better name for them please let me know!

One of the most frightening handicaps in the United States and other wealthy regions of the world is the obesity problem. The following excerpt is taken from page 72 of The Global Dating Revolution:

As the chapter continues I go onto explain some of the other effects obesity has on your dating environment. Keep in mind this is only one of the many handicaps that you might be facing in your local dating environment. Of course there will always be some men that can overcome all the handicaps and date many attractive women, but not everyone can be Michael Jordan.

But in places like Costa Rica, Colombia, Brazil, Ukraine, Russia and others, obesity and other handicaps aren’t as big of an issue or present at all. These are the REAL reasons why the dating environment in many foreign countries is actually skewed towards the men, instead of towards the women, like it is in most places in the USA.

“Why do these girls get so dressed up for the airport?” That’s what the two American girls behind me were saying about the Latin women who were also waiting on the check in line for our flight to miami. There was a stark difference between the two. The American girls looked like they just hoped out of bed. They both had baggy sweats and baggy sweaters on. Their hair was a mess and they honestly couldn’t care less.

It was a 6:40 am flight and I can understand that maybe they didn’t bother because the flight was so early, but from their attitude I wouldn’t be surprised if they would show like that for a 4:00 PM flight. Even though it was an early flight, the Latin women on the line found the time to “dress up”.

On the flip side, the Latin women were all very presentable and some were even very dressed up. I wouldn’t expect less. An “Americanized” Latin girl may step out in public in her sweats and baggy shirt, with her hair all over the place, but a real Latin woman wouldn’t dream of leaving her house if she doesn’t fix helself up a bit.

It’s part of the Latin American culture. In Latin America there is much more competition among females. I explain in full detail why this is the case in my book, “The Global Dating Revolution“, but I also touched on the subject in a post I made about American Vs Latin women in Miami.

American women “slack off” because they can. But foreign women never let their guard down in this aspect. Even though foreign women may not have as much income to give themselves a Jenny Jones makeover, they do their best with the tools they have to always look their best and always try to draw the attention of men as well as the women they feel they’re competing with. If you doubt my point of view, you can read an article from an American girl who agrees with me, its called It’s not easy being a white girl in Miami.

In wealthy countries such as the United States, many things that were once highly valued (and still are valued abroad) have lost their glitter. One example of this is a college Education. Not too long ago a College education was a big deal. But these days, it’s practically the equivalent of a high school diploma.

Many things in the U.S. like education, now have diminished value, and a College education is one perfect example. These days you not only been a bachelors degree to get a decent job, in many cases you need a Masters degree, MBA or PHD.

According to the world bank, approximately 31% of the U.S. population has completed post secondary education. Compared to 8.2% in 1950. The U.S. has the highest level of college graduates, even among other highly developed nations. For example Germany is at 11%, and Japan is at 15%.

But the numbers get even lower if we look at developing nations. In Brazil for example the number of post secondary educated people in the country is just 5.7%, Colombia is at 6.7%, Italy is 8.3%, Cuba is at 8.6% and Poland is at 9.6%.

It’s pretty clear that in the U.S., since so many people now have college degrees, having one really doesn’t say much about you. But, I always like to view things on a global level. Many things that are taken for granted in the U.S. like a college degree, a good job, economic stability, and an education among other things are still valued very highly by society in places where these things aren’t so common.

Tell an American girl you just graduate with a degree in economics, and she’ll shrug. But tell a Brazilian girl the same thing and she might be a bit impressed. By the same token, there many college graduates that can’t even get a job once they graduate in the U.S. But if you take that degree abroad, it has much more clout and weight with employers.

Although a College education may be scoffed at by some people in the U.S., it’s nothing to be laughed at on a global level. One of the measures of manhood is the ability to set, and achieve goals. Obtaining a degree is by no means an easily obtainable goal, and it does deserve it’s merits. Also, in today’s technology driven society, most of the man’s productivity, is now done on a mental level. We no longer run around the forest killing our food with bows, arrows, and sticks. In today’s world a man’s productivity, and a mans ability to provide the most basic needs of food, shelter, and stability is his ability to earn a living and earn wages. Wages are directly correlated to the level of education.

As with everything else on my website and blog, I don’t just look at things from an American perspective. Many American guys are closed off to the notion that things abroad including society and culture are much different and operate at different levels. What applies in the U.S. doesn’t always apply abroad.

The truth is that in many foreign countries including European ones, a degree, and an education makes you stand out both with employers but also with the opposite sex. Globally the post secondary education rate is 9.1%. If you hold a degree consider yourself among that top 9.1% most educated of the world population, congratulations.

I run into it all the time… Comments, emails and messages on Internet forums of women, as well as men who state that the only men who would be willing and “desperate” enough to look abroad for love, romance, and dating are the ultimate “loosers”. The most undesirable genetic material that no “empowered” American woman would touch with a ten foot pole. But let’s look at the reality and not the assumptions.

The reality is that a great majority of the men who are looking abroad are those nice guys! Yes the guys that are finishing last next to the bad boys. The guys that play the main role in most romantic comedies. These are good, decent looking, successful men, who probably spent too much time educating themselves or involved in their careers, or other things to really learn how to interact with American women.

Most American women undeniably like the bad-boy. And practically all of the attractive ones could give two shits that you’re a lawyer, small business owner, or any career oriented type of man. I wrote a post about why money may becoming more important during the recession, but I still think American women often pick bad boys over money boys.

They’re looking for the guys that give them some excitement, not some boring educated man who spent his whole life saving his money, educating himself and dedicating himself to his profession. How boring is that? Saving? lol, where’s the risk in that? An education? Ohh how “nice”…

The truth is that American women are bypassing great guys, guys who have great careers, stable futures, and good educations. But American women don’t want that… stability is too boring, education is too tame, and nice guys aren’t exciting.

So when I see comments like this on youtube:

I laugh. The haters have no clue.

Just like the smart money is exiting the country right now towards foreign investments, the smart “nice guys” are leaving for foreign women.

As a result of writing my book, “The Global Dating Revolution,” I’ve met, spoken to, and interchanged emails with thousands of men. A majority of the guys I’ve interacted with seem like they’re very well educated, many of them are working for respectable companies, while others are running small business etc. Most of them would be considered successful and very educated. So what’s going on here?

Yes, unfortunately with American women, nice guys finish last. But American women should reconsider who their passing up because the world is getting smaller and nice guys are tired of being “just friends”. Nice guys now have the option to look abroad where women have totally different attitudes towards successful educated men.

If you don’t already know, dancing to Latin music is a lot of fun, and can be very sensual. It’s a great way to express yourself through your body movements and music, and also a great way to get up close and personal with foreign women who love to dance. Most Latin dances involve some form of hand holding and embracing of your dance partner.

There are many fun ways to learn different types of Latin dance, and it helps to give each a try in order to maximize your potential. Regardless of the way in which you learn or practice and learn Latin dance, you will always have a stellar time. Going to Latin dance lessons will allow you to practice with real partners and teachers. Watching instructional Latin dance DVDs can give you a chance to learn at your own pace. Going to clubs and experiencing the real dance culture can keep you in touch with the vibrant and exciting nature of Latin dance.

#1. The basics. Loosen up and start slow. Latin music is all about being loose and feeling the rhythm of the music. Don’t try to learn all the dances at once, your going to get confused. Start off with the dance that you like most, and start off with the basic steps. Although Latin America has probably about 10-15 different dances, the three most popular ones internationally are salsa, merengue, and bachata (you can click the links to view sample videos). The popularity of these types of music and dance differ throughout different Latin American regions but if you’re planning on practicing in the United States, Canada, Australia or the U.K. these types are the main ones you will have access to.

#2. Get some Latina female friends. Latin women love to dance. There are very few Latin women who don’t enjoy going out and dancing a night away. It’s a perfect way to setup a weekend date with a Latina and her friends.

#3. Watch youtube videos or DVD training classes. DVD training programs are available all over the Internet. There are also many great free videos on websites like youtube. You can even find free dance class videos on youtube so that you can learn the basics from home at your own pace.

#4. Take dance classes. Dance classes are great places to meet dance partners and learn at the same time. Going to Latin dance lessons will allow you to practice with real partners and teachers. At the same time, as the classes progress you will make friends and often time, you can arrange for group outings to go out and practice.

#5. Go out to Latin nights and get practice. If you don’t practice you will soon forget everything you learned. Once you get a dance down, make sure you take the time to practice once a week or once every other week for an extended period of time.

One important thing to remember is that if you’re NOT Latino, you’re really not expected to know how to dance Latin music. Very few American men learn how to dance this music, so women will be pleasantly surprised to find out that you just know the basics, let alone anything more then the basics. My point is that you don’t have to dance like the best guy in the club. Even the most basic steps will impress the ladies simply because you’re a “gringo” that took the time to learn how to dance this music, and because there are so many other “gringos” that wouldn’t have a clue how to.

I ran into an interesting article over at visavisamag.com titled: “It’s not easy being a white girl in Miami“. It was interesting article about an American woman who doesn’t feel she can compete for the attention of men in Miami because of all of the feminine Latin women who among other things, stay in shape, don’t gain weight, dress to impress, and aren’t afraid to show their feminine curves.

The article didn’t surprise me one bit. And one particular part of the article really struck a cord with me. Lyn Millner, the author of this article writes: “Miami pulses, thrums and throbs with sex. The climate helps, but mainly it’s the café-con-leche goddesses with full lips, unruly hair and inviting eyes. These women would look gorgeous if they made no effort at all. But they dress up even when they go to the dry cleaners – in body hugging T-shirts, low-slung jeans, short skirts and strappy heels. Having a less-than-perfect figure doesn’t stop a Latina. She simply knows what to do. She is never overweight; she is unapologetically curvaceous. OK, so I’m generalizing, but this is what Miami looks like through a white girl’s eyes. There’s a negative way of looking at it. Val says the women in Miami dress like prostitutes.”

Everything in that article makes sense, however that last sentence is something that I’ve heard before word for word. Many years ago one of my good Latino friends named Javier was dating an American white girl from Northern New Jersey. They met in college and dated for many years. When they first met, his girlfriend was slim and attractive, but over time, as happens with many American women, she put on a lot of weight. A few years into their relationship my friend Javier who was from Santa Cruz Bolivia decided to take a trip back home. His girlfriend was madly in love with him so she decided to surprise him by going herself to Santa Cruz Bolivia.

What she found when she arrived in Santa Cruz Bolivia was definitely not to her liking. Santa Cruz much like many other foreign cities is a city well known for it’s fierce female competition. Ladies compete amongst themselves by staying in shape, flirting aggressively, and overall being very very feminine and girly. If Miami is the equivalent to a AK-47 then a city like Santa Cruz is an A-bomb.

Javier’s girlfriend had a tough time dealing with all the sexy Latin women who were flirting with her boyfriend. When she came back from Bolivia I asked her how her trip was, and guess what: She said she hated it, and that she’s never going back to Bolivia. And much like many American women’s defensive reactions to foreign women, she stated that “Bolivian women were sluts and that they dressed like prostitutes.”

Sound familiar?

It seems that now and days American women fall into two groups. One group accepts the fact that foreign women are more feminine, sexy, and attractive in many ways. They look to foreign women as an example of femininity, and try to learn from them. Then you have another group, which is probably the larger of the two, who feels threatened by these foreign ladies. Their only defense mechanism is to attack foreign women with generalizations, insults, and negativity.

I’ll end this blog post with one final excerpt from the article:

“I teach a class once a week at Florida International University in North Miami. The students are mostly women – from Argentina, Venezuela, Chile, Puerto Rico, all points Caribbean – and, always, there are one or two male students who look stunned the first day and spend the entire semester sneaking furtive looks at the females.

In Miami, men pay attention to exotic women. It’s all about dark. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, dark mystery. White girls can’t compete. If we look like soccer moms, it’s because that’s the best we can do. At a party one time, a hot guy struck up a conversation with me by asking whether I had kids. When I said, “No. Why do you ask?” he told me I looked like the perfect mom. Seeing my reaction and sensing he’d said something wrong, he backpedaled. “I meant that in a good way. A pretty mom.”

You can read the full article over at visavisamag.com titled: “It’s not easy being a white girl in Miami.”

I found myself in an Interesting conversation with an American girl a few days ago. When she found about my traveling lifestyle and my interest in foreign women some common stereotypes and misconceptions surfaced in the conversation.

At one point in the conversation I mentioned that I had been to Brazil and was planning on going back. Her eye’s flared a bit; at her learning that someone would dare travel into a country such as Brazil. Apparently one of her best guy friends had married a Brazilian lady and traveled to Brazil himself. According to this guy he had a great time, and that doesn’t surprise me, but it didn’t seem to convince this American girl one bit that Brazil could just be a nice place, with nice people, good food and good weather, not to mention amazing women.

I got a kick when she told me to “watch out for the women” because “they’re just out in the streets,” whatever that meant. She also threw in the typical AIDS rate myth telling me that many of those girls have AIDS. I just smiled and tried to explain to her that this wasn’t the case. In fact here are the most recent AIDS numbers according to the world health organization:

United States:
Estimate Adult HIV Prevalence 2007: 0.6%
Number of People Living With HIV 2007: 1,200,000
Percentage of Population Living With HIV 2007: 3.9%

Brazil:
Estimate Adult HIV Prevalence 2007: 0.6%
Number of People Living With HIV 2007: 730,000
Percentage of Population Living With HIV 2007: 3.8%

You can view these numbers for yourself at the world health organization websites, the CIA fact book or even wikipedia:
1. Wikipedia AIDS Adult Prevalence
2. World Health Organization AIDS Country Information
3. CIA World Fact Book People Living With Aids

All in all Brazil ranks along side countries like Spain, United States, Italy, France, and Argentina when it comes to the spread of AIDS within it’s population. If you’re going to be sexually active, you have just as much risk and exposure to AIDS in Brazil then in any of these countries.

I found it pretty amusing that even to this day, with good information available for free and easily accessible format online, from reliable government and international agencies, countries like Brazil still get a bad rap. In any case, I shrugged off her comment and moved on in the conversation.

It turns out that we did agree on something about Brazil when another topic came up. While we were talking about her guy friend who married a Brazilian girl, she mentioned that this guy had traveled to Brazil with his wife and that other Brazilian girls were hitting on her husband right in her face! I got a kick out of that and I can totally see that happening, but that’s just the nature of the Brazilian dating scene. Girls are very aggressive in countries like Brazil, Colombia, and Costa Rica and I agreed with her that this was the case.

Finally the conversation shifted to the fact that I’m a U.S. citizen that this girl made a comment that “I’m a ticket out” which is the only reason why these women would be Interested in me, so I’d better watch out. Again, another one of the famous stereotypes about foreign women: They’re only out to get a U.S. citizenship.

I can’t explain all the reasons why this is another false allegation in one small blog post, you can get all the details in my book “The Global Dating Revolution.” But I’ll point out to the simple fact that foreign guys don’t have U.S. citizenship, yet all studies, and research shows that foreign guys have better love lives then American men? The reason for this is because they’re surrounded their entire lives by quality, attractive foreign women who have to claw and scratch for their (the guys) attention. The dating scene abroad far favors the men over the women, so while there may be a few vixens looking for a ticket out, the interest, smiles, and flirting you receive from foreign women is in most part due to the dating environment these women live in.

It was an interesting conversation indeed, and I think it typifies the interactions some of you may have when speaking to friends, family and co-workers about traveling abroad to meet women. I hope that through my book and blog I can arm you with the right knowledge to refute these falls claims and allegations about foreign women and foreign countries.