International Dating: The Reality And Some of The Obstacles

There are numerous reasons why it’s going to take a long time for you to hit your stride in foreign countries. Some of these include:

• How well you know the language
• How fast you find the best night spots or if you know where they are
• How fast you find the best day spots or if you know where they are
• How fast you get use to the culture
• Overcoming stereotypes of you as a foreigner

These main barriers are the usual road blocks abroad. The most important one being language. But all of this doesn’t mean that dating environments abroad can’t be better then your local dating environment. Sometimes it just takes time to hit your stride.

Although language can be barrier, as long as you obtain some conversational fluency, it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

What you need to do is focus on the obstacles and overcoming them…

Overcoming stereotypes:
One of the main stereotypes you’ll encounter abroad, especially in Latin America is the fact that people will think you’re a rich American who’s only there to bang prostitutes. I’ve seen this all over Latin America. A lot of these stigmas come from past Americans and past foreigners who have come to Latin American countries for just that. These guys have given the rest of the “gringos” a bad name, but it is something that will change with time. The only way to get by this stereotype is to stay away from the “prepagos” or working girls, and in some cases from the places where these women frequent.

Overcoming style differences:
If you have an eccentric style like that of a rocker in the U.S.A you might have a tough time fitting in unless you find your perfect niche inside the city you’re visiting. American rock isn’t that popular throughout most of Latin America. In some cities the music might be popular but the style is pretty much non existent. The same can be said for a hip-hop type of style with fitted caps etc. You might find certain venues that cater to the music in certain large Latin America cities but in general these styles won’t help in Latin America. In these cases I would suggest you try to fit in more by changing your style a bit, to something you feel more comfortable with, but something that is more common throughout Latin America.

Finding The Best Night Spots:
In large cities the size of Buenos Aires or Bogota or even Medellin sometimes it’s taken me up to one month to find the really good night spots. I’m talking about the spots where you might be the only foreigner in the place and places that are loaded with single women. Also, these same places might be the best places to approach women who don’t speak any English.

It takes a lot of trial and error, asking around, checking different places out on different nights. In the first week you’ll find the most well know, places. Usually people will point you the priciest most well known place in the city, for example if you’re in Medellin and get in a taxi or ask anyone, they’ll tell you to go to Mangos or El Poblado, but I’ve found they’re not the best place to meet single women in Medellin.

If you’re lucky you’ll find the best places on the first week, but I usually don’t expect to find them until week 3 or 4, sometimes longer. And you’ll only find these places by being persistent and going out often.

What Happens To Game And Pickup During A Recession?

When it comes to dating in such a highly competitive environment such as the United States, you need stand out from the rest of the pack in order to date the most desirable women. It’s social Darwinism (for men). In the beginning of my book on international dating, I go into all the factors that make your local dating scene an uphill battle with many chips stacked against you, which practically forces you to work to stand out in some way, or stay single.

If you’re very wealthy, you’ll be able to meet and date the most sought after women because of your wealth. If you have great looks, this helps you stand out too, and you’ll meet women this way. If you have sophistication, and “game”, you’ll also stand out from the crowd and date the most desirable women.

Popular belief in the online dating community and seduction community holds that “game” trumps everything. In other words a guy who is really smooth, and sophisticated will get better results with women then a guy with a ton of money or guy with looks like a male model.

Whether or not this is true, one thing is for certain. As the economy continues it’s downward slide, money and wealth will become much more important than both looks or game, and here’s why:

First of all, let’s look at the past circumstances. In a country like the United States, a country with one of the highest recent standards of living, the average income is about 40k/year. Material possessions are common; credit is usually easy to come by. Having a nice car, or even your own small apartment doesn’t really make you stand out. In an area like Northern New Jersey/New York City where the average income is 50k/year if you make 60k/year, you’re just a little above average. That doesn’t sound like an income that really makes you stand outside of the pack, at least not where I live…

My point is, that in the past, “game” may have been more important then money. Why? Because when times were good, everyone had a good amount of money. What guy didn’t have money to spend on drinks for his date? What guy didn’t have money to buy dinner? Most men had money to buy a nice car. Most men had money to spend on the women they were dating, and most guys overspent. Which is one of the reasons why the seduction community teaches men not to spend money or buy drinks or dinner, so that they can stand out from all the other guys that DO buy drinks and dinner and overspend.

So, when money was falling out of trees, having a bit of it really didn’t set you apart. So maybe having “game” would set you apart more then having money.

But what happens during this long term downward trend where massive amounts of wealth is being lost, many men are loosing their jobs, credit is tight, and standards of living are dropping?

The truth is money isn’t as easy to come by as it use to be in the United States. And as money and wealth become scarcer, the law of supply and demand dictates that they will also become more sought after.

I’ll give you one small example (although I have many). I have many female friends back in New Jersey and while I’m back here in New Jersey, I’ve caught up with a lot of them. One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard about boyfriends and guys they’re dating is that they’re being cheap, or that they’re broke. One friend specifically mentioned that she was about to dump her boyfriend because he doesn’t buy her anything and because he’s being cheap. But guys aren’t the only ones feeling the pinch. For example girls that were working in bars or as waitresses aren’t making as much money as they use, just to name one small industry.

The good old days of the “game” trump card are over. And as this economic downturn is expected to span at least a 5 to 10 year period if not more, you can expect that money and wealth will be what sets you apart from the pack the most, going forward.

Ever heard of phrase “cash is king”? It’s certainly starting to look that way.